Cathy DeBuono's 'What's Your Problem?' Video: Livestream! Tonight 7:30 PST

Watch Cathy DeBuono bring you her vlog What's Your Problem live on SheWired Tuesday night at 7:30 PST. Streaming live, Cathy and guest artist Jen Celio will advise a girl who has trouble talking about her stepfather who passed away 11 years ago from cancer, and another whose younger sister was murdered by her husband.

Letter 1:

Hi Cathy,

I have rewritten (if that's even a word) this letter several times already..... Not really sure how to talk about this. I saw on one of your episodes, you were talking about your father and lung cancer. My question is how do you get to that point where you can talk about it? Check this out....

My Stepdad passed about 11 years ago from cancer. I have maybe said a hand full of words about him sense then. When people bring him up, I change the subject, because I can't remember how he was before he got sick, I go blank, and get a flashback of him laying there dieing. About a week after he died. I had a dream, at least I think it was a dream.... I dreamt that he was standing in my room,leaning up against the wall, his face was all back to normal, and he was talking to me about how everything was ok. I remember trying to open my eyes but couldn't.... You are the only person I have ever told that too. I was going to tell the people close to me, but I was afraid it would upset them. Years, and years went by, and I just kept it to myself....

Because of this, it has ruined some great relationships by not being able to open up about it. At first I thought, it's their problem for trying to get me to talk about it, but now I think maybe it's me.....? I remember you saying there was a 4 or 5 step process that people go through to grieve. Is it possible to get stuck somewhere in between? How do I get passed this? I know you have tons and tons of letters, so getting back to me is slim....But if you have a minute to even tell me that I need therapy that would be great.

Not the therapy part but getting back to me.
Thanks girl!!
K

Letter 2:

Hey there Cathy,

I hope that you will have time to read this....and give me something to lean on for thought. I have lost my baby sister to domestic violence... June 2009 and has left behind 3 daughters and one granddaughter and also knowing she was my only sibling and a baby girl to my mother. It has been sooo devastating that I feel lost in all of this..... my mother and I are not close and never have been. As far as relatives I still stand alone.

I have been seeing a counselor and moved on up to a therapist. I have very much been very angry at the world and mostly to the one who killed her in cold blood. I so strongly have the desire to want to bury him alive!! He is my baby sister's husband. Hate to say it but true. She was such a loving person with such a forgiving heart and she tolerated the intolerable....she was family oriented and made sure no one was left out when it came to the holidays.

My heart hurts everyday for I miss her to pieces that this year I have nothing to celebrate for this year was a horrible year to experience such loss! My nieces are with their father in Pueblo, Colorado and are not very happy with him or his side of the family. They want to be on their mother's side of the family cause they feel much more at home and in the presence of their mother all around them. I have been so torn up by all this that it has been taking it's toll on me in such a way that no one knows how to reach me.... it does get scarey at times.

I am pretty much a loner.... I don't have very many friends. Family aren't really that supportive. I feel like I am carrying this burden of anger alone that I want to take the law into my own hands and finish him in a way that would satisfy the beast in me for what he did to my baby sister! I have no kids, lived my life in this gay lifestyle....believed in protecting my baby sister as long as we were alive.

Now I feel I have failed her in soo many ways. How was I to know he would do such a horrible act of selfishness and greed cause he couldn't have his way!!  I don't know why I am emailing you this I think I am looking for an escape in some kind of encouragement from someone or what is the best way to go about this.....?????? I am a big fan of yours and figured you would help me somehow with this. Hope to hear from you.

Torn,
S.

Video and chat on next page...