SheWired Editor Tracy E. Gilchrist and Advocate.com Editor Ross von Metzke are back by not-so-popular demand terrorizing SheWired readers with a little column we like to call Gossip Girl and Her Gay, essentially an IM session between gay friends who work together that reeks of solipsism, celebrity gawking, personal attacks on each other and ridiculousness.
This week Ross pulls himself out of a pretend bender following the news that Sandra Bullock was cuckolded by her philandering jack-ass husband Jesse James. And Betty White is pissed! Meanwhile, a delusional Tracy is hoping Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes split amicably over mutual gayness. Plus, Cydni Lauper calls Donald Trump "fat" on national television, Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning finally lez out in The Runaways, Nurse Jackie brings on the Oxycontin, The Dinah, and much more pointless crap...
TEG: I know we both had minor crises, me with a crashed server and you not knowing what to wear to see Taylor Dayne on Friday, but do you have time to play with me?
RvM: Ish. I’ll play ish. LOL
TEG: Okay.
RvM: Can’t guarantee I’m much fun today. You know - folks chaining themselves to the White House puts a somber mood on things.
TEG: Well, Dan Choi crashed my server!
RvM: I know. But his chaining himself to the fence is not like when you chained yourself to Dolly Parton's beemer in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot til she agreed to dedicate “Jolene” to you.
TEG: Yes. But it was never about "Jolene." It was always about just chaining myself to something of Dolly's! But be honest Ross. I know you are bummed about Lt. Dan Choi getting his ass hauled to jail for fighting for our rights but I know you're really crying into your milk and bourbon over Bullock's heartache.
RvM: Well, I’m mostly just pissed that this probably means we wont see her starring in another movie for a long while. And that fucker Jesse James better run - Betty White is pissed.
TEG: So true. Betty White will "change him from a rooster to a hen with one shot!"
RvM: Had to take it back to Dolly in Nine to Five.
TEG: Sorry. But I am pissed too. That bastard sat there crying over Sandy's Oscar speech.
TEG: Likely out of guilt for banging a skank who goes by the name "Michelle Bombshell McGee."
RvM: What the hell does that name even mean? I mean Sandy stood by him when his fucking dog went missing. She wins an Oscar and he runs out and bangs some hooker.
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