Wit star Cynthia Nixon set off a firestorm of controversy with her comment in a New York Times interviewin which she said that being gay was a choice – for her. Now the women of The Talk, including out host Sara Gilbert and guest, lesbian and chef Cat Cora, weighed in on Nixon’s remarks. Gilbert was a bit diplomatic in her assessment of Nixon’s statement when she said, “My guess is that she’s probably closer to bisexual. I think that in an ideal world it’s okay for her to say that it was a choice for her, because it was a choice for her, I guess, to be with a woman now.”
Gilbert went on to say, “I feel that the fact that we have to say that it’s a choice or not a choice means that there’s something wrong with it.” The actress also told an anecdote about a friend who’s father threatened him for being gay adding, “I think in terms of social responsibility, what she’s saying is a little risky but I value what she’s saying as a human being.”
But Chef Cora did not pull punches “I’m gay and I was born this way,” Cora said, invoking a Lady Gaga lyric.
“I think it was dangerous and irresponsible of Cynthia in this environment today, especially when so many young people are taking their lives,” Cora said.
Watch Gilbert here:
Cat Cora weighs in:
I believe it is a choice
I believe it is a choice because when I don't have a girlfriend and I am in need of sexual companionship, I have MANY times sought out penis. With men it is much less emotional and it fulfills my sexual urges I'm just saying.
I'll tell you what's
I'll tell you what's dangerous- Cat Cora. She's SMMMMMMMOKIN'!!!!!!! Hey now!!
Playing devil's advocate...
...because I admire the work CN has done for the LGBT community.However, I have to say that this was a badly worded comment by CN...To be clear, I also believe that it should not matter if a person is gay/bi/trans- whatever, with respects to civil rights & equality under the law. But~ we do have to understand that at this moment in time, the turning tides haven't quite turned that way entirely & that comments such as Ms. Nixon has tossed out there can cause more bad than good, especially when the comment itself makes it seem that CN isn't even quite sure what point she's attempting to make?I think that the issue people have had with her is that she relates what would be defined as a bisexual life history, comes out as "gay" (lesbian), further relates that she is uncomfortable or resistent to the bisexual "label" (she feels it has a bad connotation), and because of her wish to distance herself from the word "bisexual", has decided to claim she is gay & that she chose to be gay over being straight...I feel that her own inner confusion is what caused this whole mess & I understand entirely why people in the LGBTQ community are miffed. It will be that perceived sexual "flip-flopping" that will provide fodder for the anti-gay groups to use against the forward progress of equality for all.CN has described her life- & what she describes is being a bisexual. The only "choice" she made was to partner with a woman this time around rather than a man. If she maintains that at this moment she could easily go back to a male, then she is not gay/lesbian. She is bisexual, whether it's "uncomfortable" for her or not.Lastly- CN is 100% correct, though, that nature vs. nurture should not matter...and we're making strides in that direction. I'm hopeful for some good to come out of this controversy in the form of more dialog & discussion...fingers-crossed.:)
Hanging on to heterosexual privilege!
Being a feminist first and then a lesbian feminist and somewhere in there I'm sure I was bisexual, the truth is some are BORN THAT WAY and some are BORN THAT WAY later in life. She needs to face up the reality that being "bisexual" is just a way for her to keep that heterosexual imagined higher status in the heterosexual world. By saying what she said she gets to keep one foot in that door. She has made a choice to commit to a woman, that is now her preference! it is your "preference" that defines your sexuality. Whether her last lover was God, or her boss, or when she was 12 it was the female babysitter... now her choice is a woman, that makes her a lesbian! She can be a nun next or even celebate if she chooses, but once she chooses to live her life in a committed relationship with a woman, she's a lesbian. I find it a huge cop out for her to define herself is any other way. Is she afraid her career will be pidgeon holed? She came out when she told the world she is with a woman, now she is backpeddling... I feel sorry for her partner and the kids who have held her a role model and now she has confused not only us but her whole future. I'm over her!
An argument before its time...
In 10 years I hope everyone gets what Cynthia means. What difference does it make if it's a choice or not? That should not determine whether a person has equal rights! We've let the radical right define the issue for us. I get that we have to prove it's not "just a lifestyle", which makes us just as good as anyone else. I'm just saying that in the future, even someone who chooses to live a lifestyle should STILL be treated with respect and equal rights if that lifestyle doesn't harm anyone else.
Chose wrong words
I guess what I got out of it when I first read what she had said I took it as she meant "made a choice to be with a woman". Maybe it was nothing more than using the wrong words, I don't know because I don't know her nor can I even say for sure that's what she meant. But it would have been much more accurate if she would have stated "I made a choice to be with a woman" because we all understand that meaning as being bisexual. But at the same time I was thinking this will set off a fire storm of I told you so from the anti-gay crowd. But seriously I do not believe her statement is going to be anything that will set back LGBTQ civil rights at all.
Why must we invalidate the individual's personal experience?
People want people to be all the same, even within the LGBT community. Why can't Cynthia say what her experience is? Why does her experience have to conform to and be presented as the same as current political gestalt of the LGBT community?It's okay for Chaz to say he is a differnt kind of man but it is not okay for Cynthia to say she resists the bi label and say she is a different kind of woman who loves both men and women?As a Lesbian, I feel that the LGBT community expects me to be a good little Lesbian and accept everything as united when, in truth, it is not and expects me not to point out the differences within our community. The truth is that it is a community that is not only diverse in sexual preference and gender identies, but equally as diverse in personalities and personal experiences. Yet, situations such as the one with Cynthia seeks to reinforce that we must all be politially correct all the time regardless of how we think and feel within our own skin.People are so quickly forgetting that we live in a world of free speach. Instead of seeing the gay youth of this country as victims, why not show them that being okay who you are and speaking out about it within any larger community, whether it's the larger straight world or the LGBT sub-culture, is a place of empowerment.Why must we bash someone just because they dont' talk about their personal experience in the "correct" political way. To me it is ironic that those who see the plight of our gay youth as one of vicitimization are so quick to turn around and attempt to victimize someone in our own community for simply expressing her own personal experience."If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive."— Audre Lorde
Bi
This is simply a case of misusing words, something that happens all the time. It is not a matter of how she defines herself.
Did she double down
Did I just see Sharon Osbourne??? (I don't follow the show so am just guessing the red head is Sharon Osbourne my apologies if it was some one else) double down on an egregious error made by Cynthia Nixon. At the end of Sara Gilbert's trying to explain that probably Ms Nixon is bi rather than gay Mrs. Osbourne made a stupid joke: "I kissed a girl and I chose to be straight." The fact is that although there are some bisexual people who can choose between their own sex and the opposite and do vacillate between the two because they are just as attracted to one as they are to the other, I think they need to explain that they are bi and not gay before making comment about choices. As for Mrs. Osbourne to have compounded the idea that it is a choice because she tried it both ways and chooses to be straight was a stupid thing to do. One does not choose to be straight anymore than one chooses to be gay. One might try an experiment for some ridiculous reason and find it didn't thrill them or bring enjoyment but one doesn't then choose to be straight they just affirm that they obviously are not gay or bisexual. I think Mrs. Osbourne needs to back track and explain that it was a stupid joke. With so many young people taking their own lives because they are being bullied and harassed she does not need to make light of it, or give anybody more amunition.
Cynthia made the wrong choice..
We all make a choice to act or not act on our attractions, that is the choice Cynthia made. I seriously doubt she made a conscious choice to go against her attraction and pursue a relationship with a woman just for the hell of it. While her choice to act on her attractions is hers and hers alone, using that choice to undermine years of hard work by the community to get where we are today, is the wrong choice..Diplomatically, yes she expressed her own opinion, but by doing it in the way she did, she opened up so many other people to be hurt.I'm with Cat Cora on this one, gay and born this way. For years I chose not to act on my attraction, but that did not make me any less gay. I would not be so bold as to define her gayness by calling her a bisexual, that's her business, but she can't just throw it out there like it has no impact on the greater gay community.She owes a big apology to the entire community for being so cavalier with her statement. I realize she is not the spokeswoman for GAY, but she is the face of GAY for a lot of people and as such has some responsibility to explain her statement.
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