McKinley High’s most adorable girl/girl couple of Cheerios ever, Santana and Brittany, have been presumably in a happy, healthy relationship since they said “I do” to being girlfriends last November, but there has been little more than the occasional hand-hold or hug that’s passed between the two, leaving fans begging for some “sweet lady kisses” between the lovebirds.
In a wonderful example of the tail wagging the dog Glee producers heard fans’ collective outcries and addressed the issue of the all-elusive Brittana kiss in Tuesday’s Valentine’s Day themed episode.
Ep. 3.13 – “Heart”
Glee’s Valentine’s Day episode opens in the choir room with a series of shots of the coupled up glee kids’ in various forms of embrace, including Santana and Brittany bumping the zippers of the Cheerios jackets together in a hug. Cue the first “aws” of the show right at that start.
Mr. Schue announces that the week’s assignment is to find the world’s greatest love songs, and Sugar announces she’s renting out Breadsticks for a special V-Day party that she’s calling the “Sugar Shack,” but no single people will be allowed.
Later, Brittany walks down the hall toward Santana holding her pink, shiny-heart clad computer open.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Brittany says.
“You’re giving me your computer for Valentine’s Day?” Santana asks, looking like a used hot pink computer is a bad present.
“It’s a playlist of all the songs I hear in my head when I’m with you or when I’m thinking about you,” Brit says. “I wanted to make you a CD for you for Valentine’s Day but this is as far as I got without any help.”
And then Santana flashes that trademark Naya Rivera grin.
“Oh, and I made you a cover,” Brittany says, turning the computer around and showing Santana a pic of the two of them in a heart that looks freakishly similar to one SheWired’s photo editor Boo made a few weeks back!
If one can speed read, or presses pause on Hulu, it appears that Brittany’s playlist consists of some pretty odd choices for a V-Day playlist – or are they?
Among the goodies on the playlist are “Purple People Eater,” “Pac Man Fever,” “Monster Mash,” “On Top of Spaghetti” and “Different Strokes Theme Song.” While Brittana may not have gotten much chance for PDA, it certainly sounds like they’ve been having lots of freaky alone time if the song choices are an indication.
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Santana coos a “Brittany….thank you,” and they lean in for the kiss we’ve all been waiting for. But don’t think it’s going to be that easy. Glee’s producers are just dangling the carrot and forcing us to watch all the ads in the show before they get any action.
Just as Santana and Brit lean in for a kiss Principal Figgins rounds the corner and says, “Teen lesbians, I must see you in my office right now.”
Cut to Santana saying, “This is such bullcrap! Why can’t Brittany and I kiss in public? Because we’re two girls?”
“Please don’t make this about your Sapphic orientation,” Principal Figgins chides. “This is about public displays of affection. PDA simply has no place in the sacred halls of McKinley High.” Figgins continues to say that there’ve been complaints about Brittany and Santana kissing. Cut to a flashback of Brit and Santana giving each other an innocuous peck on the lips that’s no more exciting than the way I kiss my cats goodbye on my way to work.
Not one to let anything get by Santana says their lips just grazed and asks if Figgins received any complaints about the hideous display of affection that began just after the Brittana peck. Cut to Rachel and Finn sloppily making out, and then back to Santana making a disgusted face.
“Believe me, I’d rather see you and Santana kiss than that so-called Finchel,” Figgins responds, rather inappropriately I might add. Figgins explains that someone had complained for religious reasons. And now would be a good time to bring up the fact that Mercedes, Sam, Quinn and a new formerly home-schooled, tatted, dread-locked hippie kid named Joseph have all had a meeting of the God Squad – a group that just enjoys Jesus and saying “praise,” a lot.
Figgins explains that he’s sorry but he’s just essentially trying to keep the peace.
“I’m sorry too because all I want to do is be able to kiss my girlfriend but I guess no one can see that because there’s such an insane double standard at this school,” Santana says, high-tailing out of Figgins’ office and leaving poor Brittany behind with Figgins.
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Later, The God Squad, raising money by performing singing Valentine’s Day-grams, delivers “My Heart’s a Stereo” from Finn to his betrothed Rachel. New guy Joe sings lead with Sam, Mercedes and Quinn backing him up.
Rachel’s still basking in her Valentine’s-gram when ever-the-skeptic Santana saunters up saying, “Sooo, you guys are a Christian group?” “And if I pay I can send a vocal Valentine to anybody I want right?” Santana queries.
“Ten bucks. That’s the deal,” Joe replies.
“Awesome, in that case…” Santana says, digging through her Cheerios’ jacket pocket for a tenner – being the not the purse carrying kind of girl that she is…
“In that case I would like to send one to my girlfriend Brittany,” Santana says, shoving the tenner in the neck of Joe’s guitar. “And by that I don’t mean my friend who’s a girl. I mean my GIRLfriend, girlfriend.” And you know, I could just listen to Santana say “girlfriend” til the cows come home. Perhaps there’s a song in there for Santana with just the lyric “girlfriend.”
“How does that sound?” she says, grinning at a chagrinned Joe.
The God Squad comes to order later to discuss what the God Sqaud’s stance on singing to gay people is.
“Well, three of us are in glee club so we pretty much sing to gay people all the time,” Sam says matter of factly.
“I know we’re okay with it but Joe may not be,” Mercedes says. Joe says he tries not to judge but he’s never met anyone who’s gay. And then the God Squad members launch into a biblical discussion that comes down on a side that should have One Million Moms – the 40,000 group strong antigay group that assailed JCPenney and Ellen DeGeneres – leading a boycott of Glee any minute now.
“Jesus never said anything about gay people. That’s a fact,” Quinn declares.
Kudos to Glee for tackling the thorny issue of homophobia and religion on the Fox network!
“We have to figure out where we stand,” Mercedes says. “I don’t want to hurt Santana’s feelings but I also don’t want to make someone do something they’re not comfortable with. So where do you stand Joe?” Joe says he needs to think about it.
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And that’s about it for Brittana’s story until the end of the episode, save for the occasional arm holding in the glee room. Next week I’m gonna make a drinking game that involves everyone doing a shot when they spot a continuity problem in which Brittana is holding hands one moment and not the next.
That night it’s Sugar’s big party at Breadsticks, which she’s converted into her very own “Sugar Shack,” and Santana’s feeding Brittany chocolates. Cue more “awwwwws” from couches round the nation.
Sugar makes her welcoming announcements, including giving away cheese hearts and gift certificates, before introducing the God Squad.
Joe takes the mic.
“Santana Lopez asked me if we would sing a love song for Brittany S. Pierce, and after thinking and praying about it I knew there was only one right answer,” Joe says moving toward McKinley’s lady couple. And Santana is giving him the “you better come out with the right freaking answer” shank eye.
“Absolutely! Love is love man,” Joe says, eliciting a grin from Santana, who then kisses Brittany’s hand.
The God Squad launches into an oldie but goody with The Association’s 1966 schmaltzy hit “Cherish.” Cue plenty of handholding and ogling between Brittana before they get up for a little slow dance.
The song ends and Santana puts her lips out for a big kiss, Brittany leans in, kisses back and draws her closer, and it’s enough to make my Grinch heart grow a size or two! Finally, after much handholding and Brittana gets their sweet lady kisses on.
Next, Blaine, who’s been home nursing his eye since that creepy queen Sebastian threw a rock salt slushy at him, turns up as Sugar’s special guest to make Kurt’s night. And what other way to celebrate Blaine’s recovery than with a rousing rendition of The B52’s “Love Shack?”
I must take this moment to comment on the adorableness of the fish knit – knit not net – dress that Brittany’s sporting. And Santana’s no slouch in her little black dress either!
Cheers to Brittana for their PDA! It was surely enjoyed and lauded round the nation.