It’s The Real L Word season again and in lieu of traditional recaps about those kooky lesbians of Weho and Brooklyn SheWired has opted to do a weekly list of superlatives not unlike those random, meaningless and totally out of context that were once the mainstay of high school popularity contests. You know, “Best Hair,” “Best Smile,” “Most Likely to insert verb here.”
We'll kick off this week's list of superlatives with an actual heartfelt award that is completely free of sarcasm and irony.
Most Authentic Moment:
It's the second half of the Club Skirts Dinah Shore episode and Kacy and Cori, who recently lost their baby, are out and about attempting to have a little fun amidst the heartbreak. An adoring fan asks for a photo with them and then, unknowingly, asks about the baby. The fan is totally respectful and truly sad for them and Kacy and Cori are a class act. That is all...
Most Overplayed Taped Nipples:
Best Impression of Tom Cruise in Risky Business:
It's tough to tell from this screenshot, but Somer, all the way on the right, is also pantless, not unlike Mr. Cruise in that '80s classic!
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Best Bitch Fight at a Baz Luhrman'sThe Great Gatsby Meets the Real L Word Costume Party:
At the White Party Kiyomi confronts Amanda over her attempts to derail the Kiyomi / Lauren hook-up. Kiyomi accuses Amanda of lying to Lauren about how Kiyomi supposedly lives with her girlfriend, but since no one can really tell what's going on with Kiyomi and her sometimes lady friend Ali, we'll just chalk this up to who really cares.
The Biggest Please Stop Talking about Hooking Up and Just Freaking Do it Already Moment:
Somewhere in a room at the Dinah host hotel, The Riviera, Kiyomi and Lauren are engaging in the most drawn out, boring seduction scene ever. Please just do it already because my eyes can not roll any further back in my head.
Best Impression of Matt Damon in Bagger Vance:
Again, no sarcasm here. Kelsey's got this and she looks adorable!
The Last Place I'd Rather Be - Not that They'd Have Me Anyway
As soon as her Dinah fling Kiyomi ducks out of the room at Dinah for some ice Lauren engages in a three-way make-out session with Whitney and Sara. No offense to any of the individuals involoved, and it is kind of hot, but this whole Whit / Sara / Lauren / Kiyomi / Amanda thing is just too messy.
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Most Lame Attempt at a Break-Up Since Carrie Bradshaw was Dumped Via a Post-It:
At a Real L Word photo shoot the day after Dinah--oh, those poor make-up people who had to try to hide the exhaustion, booze bloat and hickeys--Kiyomi and Ali text as they are sitting side by side on a couch. The "I can't do this with you," is Kiyomi's attempt to quell an impending argument but it's really about getting rid of her without actually saying it.
Hands-Down the Coolest Girl in the Room:
Hunter Valentine's Vero appears to have taken over the mantle of "the voice of reason" from Whit's old roomie Alyssa this season. She's cool and calm and stays the hell out of the drama. It was time Vero got a shout out!
A Lamp Post that is More Interesting than Kiyomi and Ali's Relationship After an Entire Season of Back and Forth:
Kiyomi and Ali have been breaking up since we met them. With all due respect, the same argument over and over just does not make for good TV.
Best Attempt at Making Amends Gone Awry:
You gotta hand it to Sara. She realized that the feud with Romi was just plaing putting a damper on everyone's party and that they were essentially all behaving like jealous tweens at a Bieber concert. But, as things go, Sara's attempt at making amends with Romi was a complete disaster. Don't expect harmony there any time soon.