By: hrobert1
May 30 2011 6:12 PM

Hi Everyone, My name is Hannah and I am not only new to SheWired.com, but I am also new to accepting myself as a lesbian. I am originally from Vermont, but I am currently living in Mississippi in order to complete my Masters degree in Chemical Oceanography. When I was younger and my friends were beginning to take notice of boys, I still wasn't entirely getting it. I found myself looking at other girls instead. I had myself believing that I was just comparing myself to them. When I was 14, I went into a heterosexual relationship that turned sour very quickly. I was verbally, emotionally and sexually abused for almost 2 years before I was able to get out. My parents didn't like the person I was with and had their suspicions, but I have never told them the truth about what went on for that period of time. I was able to change high schools and moved on with my life, (relatively speaking). I went on to another heterosexual relationship but it was becoming more and more obvious that I wasn't attracted to him. At the same time, I wasn't attracted to any other people either. In college I dated a few people off and on until finally meeting another man who I thought was "the one". I even hinted to my family that he was special and may be around for a long time. I truly believed that I had found someone I was attracted to and that made me feel beautiful and special. As the relationship wore on, it was once again evident that I wasn't sexually attracted to him. About two months ago I finally came to the realization that it wasn't because he was unattractive, but because I wasn't interested in men at all. A month later I came out to him, and he admitted that he thought this may be the case.We are still good friends and speak regularly. Now is the scary part. I just moved to the gulf coast. I am alone with my two cats and I know no one. Compared to Vermont, this isn't exactly an inviting State to be living in! I'm taking comfort in the beautiful scenery and warm weather, but I feel like it's time to start moving forward with my life.

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