You should be feeling very privileged right now because what I’m about to tell you I’ve never told anyone before—I was a band geek.
I know, I know it’s terrible but it gets worse. I got out of PE class because I was in the marching band. Oh God...the shame.
The reason I’m confessing all this is that I’ve just read an article on AfterEllen and I think I might have a problem.
I might not be a lesbian.
I’ve been sleeping with women since I was 16 and have enjoyed myself immensely, but the article brought up this website: LouisvilleLadyLegends.
On the site, this guy, who obviously knows how to spot a lesbian, says that basketball is the reason women turn gay.
“I started the Lady Legends program with the support of my wife, Kari, in hopes of encouraging young girls to be proud and secure in not being part of the lesbian and homosexual lifestyle which is so prevalent in woman’s/girl’s athletics. Many girls, as early as middle school, are being influenced or ‘tested’, or converted and convinced that if they play sports, specifically basketball, they must be, should be, or need to be gay.”
That’s Coach Jaye Collins and he’s got me wondering because I never played basketball—I skipped out on high school PE! I freaked out and quickly made a gay/straight list:
•I swam and played softball and played soccer (needs lesbian verification by another bigoted coach)
•I did not play with dolls—I had stuffed animals instead (needs verification by outdated psychology beliefs)
•I took a male date to the Valentine’s Dance, but made out with my female friend from Spanish class in the bathroom (needs verification by English teacher who caught us)
These are half-ass reasons at best. If only there was a way that I could know for sure that I was indeed a lesbian. Something from within instead of outside of myself...
Stupid me: I actually thought that being gay was something you felt as a basic instinct. When it was time to start thinking sexually about boys and girls, lesbians were attracted to girls. I had no idea that someone else, a straight male coach no less, knew what being a lesbian really was.