American Horror Story: Coven Recap 3.7 : Sex and Romance are Dead

How about a little undead sex?
By: Rebekah Allen
November 21 2013 9:51 PM

This week’s episode of Coven was really fun for me as a single person because even slightly reanimated corpses are getting more action than I am. But all jokes aside (just kidding, I will never put any jokes aside), lust is truly in the air for nearly all of Coven’s blondest characters. As for the not blonde characters, it’s not quite as fun a week, but there are still plenty of sinister plots to keep everyone busy.

Our pre-title sequence teaser finds Kyle truly alive for the first time since the pilot episode. He hangs out at a tattoo parlor with his frat buddies as they joke lightly and explain their typical, silly tattoo choices, like a Japanese symbol on one of their ankles and a four-leaf clover on an upper arm.

Kyle laughs off the suggestion he join in on the fun, saying his mom wouldn’t want him to. But since people are happy and smiling, this is definitely a flashback, and in present day Kyle’s not too jolly as he realizes the body parts he’s been sewn into bear the Japanese symbol and clover of his deceased friends.

Are Kyle’s memories finally starting to resurface and turn him back into a functioning Kyle-person? Maybe, but that makes situation infinitely more insanely disturbing so he immediately starts freaking out from the chair he’s been shackled too. Zoe watches him, clutching a gun, and the title sequence begins as though we’re supposed to be surprised Zoe’s trying to shoot the dead guy she’s been trying to re-kill for weeks. After all this, you really think a gun’s going to work, Zoe? Actually, you probably do since you’re terrible at making choices.

The biggest surprise in Coven history comes when the title sequence ends and a monologue not delivered by Jessica Lange begins. Instead, a bitter, sarcastic, and cleverly articulate Madison bitches beautifully in voice-over about life as a young dead adult. As it so turns out, death has taken away her ability to feel anything sexual, painful, or otherwise.

She’s found she can’t fill the empty void inside her, but she can burn her hand off while whining poetically about her generation. At least Madison can take comfort in her life as a cute corpse still being more successful than Zoe’s as an actual living person. Meanwhile, on Zoe’s continued quest to deal with Kyle, she is easily disarmed and he nearly shoots everyone before she has a change of heart and is able to calm him down. “I don’t want you to die,” she murmurs as she cradles the guy she considered shooting in the face just moments ago. Ah, young love.

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