Hi guys! How has everyone's week been? Did you accidentally join forces with your mortal enemies? Don't feel bad – it happens to the best of us! Lets talk about how Bo handled this slip up in Let the Dark Times Roll.
This week's episode picks up right where we left off: Bo learning that she is dark fae. The freshly aligned succubus feels she should remember something like this but the Una Mens' maintain that their pet gargoyle read her blood and it was as dark as the coffee that keeps my neurons firing. I like to think my blood would read like an epic fantasy novel. Despite Bo's understandable anger at having to think of a new moniker, the Una Mens are happy to let her leave now that their problem is solved.
It looks for almost a whole second like this meeting will end with only some parting snark but because the Una Mens are jerks they can't resist a threatening a little slow and painful death to enemies of the fae Lauren and Kenzi. Bo responds with her usual cool head and well-considered rebuttal.
Now I'm not an expert on these matters but my gut tells me chi-sucking an entire room of fae Volturi may not going to end well for Bo. It just so happens that any attack on the Una Mens is turned back on the attacker as the chi is sucked right back out and Bo collapses. The Una Mens offer an ultimatum: pledge fealty to the Morrigan or choose death.
Bo and Kenzi waste no time in getting to Dark Central where Kenzi chills in the waiting room, where every number is 69 because dark fae are totally mature, while Bo recharges with the receptionist and a random in the bathroom. Once fully charged, Bo tells Kenzi she blames The Wanderer and Vex for her current predicament. She intends to get answers on her accidental allegiance and get that new clan smell out of her hair and her blood. Dyson is on a missing doctor hunt this week and Bo stresses over Lauren's safety. Kenzi is down with the gravity of Bo's concern but also keen to assess the wardrobe options that would come with being bestie to the dark.
Upon being summoned into the Morrigan's office Bo and Kenzi are shocked to find the newly reinstated Evony seated under her own 'in memoriam' picture. The dark leader expresses her joy at Bo finally getting off the fence but is not behind her unwilling choice. She invites team unaligned to a dark ceilidh (because who loves gaelic parties more than the dark?!) that afternoon, suggesting they will find Vex there. As much as Bo hates last-minute invites she learns that to annul her commitment she must prove it fraudulent by the full moon that evening. Bo seems to be the only one particularly bothered by the situation as with one compliment from the Morrigan, Kenzi is totally team darkness.
While the girls get ready for their party Trick is having his own story, making a dinner date for info on The Wanderer and staring at a creepy vibrating seed thing before locking it away in his vault. Because, sure. An Una Mens goon appears with a summons warning the Blood King to get his life story in order.
The dark fae high tea looks oddly like a wedding reception, even featuring cheesy saplings party favors. Kenzi amends her initial judgment when the free booze appears and I would totally judge her if that wasn't the exact way to win my undying devotion. Tamsin gets straight into the cocktails too because a child valkyrie in an adult body is absolutely someone you should give alcohol to.
As if we didn't already know it, Bo proves she is a terrible party guest by freeing the humans that Evony kindly offered up as a buffet. That's just bad manners. Evony shrugs it off and explains how she wants the Una Mens gone and needs Bo to hunt Vex down to that end. This is barely of interest as Bo's protestations come to a sudden halt when the Morrigan introduces her slow walking bargaining chip.
Bo seems to concur that whatever Lauren's been up to certainly agrees with her. But then she hasn't suffered through the dark days of the ginger wig and plaid. Never again.
Once alone, Bo and Lauren agree that they need to talk but because they are Bo and Lauren and they look like that, this happens instead.
A waiter interrupts with a tray of hors d'oeuvres which Lauren awesomely asks him to leave behind as he escapes the succubus' wrath. Whatever is up with Lauren she's looking great and being hilarious so I'm all for it. With the snack situation sorted the pair get back to business.
As every viewer was likely hoping, the scene cuts away from this boring reunion to Trick's inquisition and fae political history lesson. At last! In short, the Una Mens formed after a rebellion against the corrupt Blood King convinced him to relinquish power to a council of fae who gave up their individuality, egos and souls for the cause. He, along with five other fae, were each to swallow a sacred seed to complete this transition but the Blood King absconded with his seed. This means the Una Mens never achieved the power that would come with his commitment, allowing unopposed ruling and they are still pissed about it. Trick has some reservations about their quest for absolute power, much like I do about scenes that are not Bo and Lauren right now.
Back at the well-lit, daylight hours ceilidh of darkness my second favorite fae-human team investigate the sushi buffet only to discover it is served on a delicious tray of Bruce. Kenzi's old body guard buddy is suffering this punishment for helping her out last season. I've got to give it to these dark fae, they know how to come up with inventive retribution. Kenzi basically agrees describing the light fae as assholes and the dark as “assholes who have fun.” She disapproves of this current method of fun and in her search to clothe Bruce also discovers the bride and groom who actually paid for this party murdered under a tablecloth.
I want to be bothered by the dark's cheap party planning methods but there's no time as we return to a more alive couple. The surprisingly still fully clothed Lauren and Bo finally manage a tiny amount of conversation. Bo fills Lauren in on recent events and learns that the doctor is hiding from the Una Mens with the dark before the pair are interrupted by the Morrigan who is as disappointed as me at their slow progression and delightfully exclaims “scissor already!” Lauren's response here is great mostly looking amused while Bo gets sassy with Evony.
Lauren tries to excuse herself but in an example of the difference between light and dark fae's treatment of her, Evony insists that she is essential to Vex retrieval. The doctor's job is to whip up a drug to render the mesmer powerless. Another essential element of the plan is the pink-clad scavenger fae Pietra who is super excited to be working with the team. The Morrigan and Pietra offer Bo and Lauren a few minutes to gather themselves, a length of time with which Bo declares, “waste not want not.”
The Vex hunt begins with Pietra finding an almost dead body lying under a plastic bag with the scimitar of kronos. After making the body fully dead with said knife she reveals that she agreed to deliver it to Vex but intends to double cross him. The mesmer was last seen near the gym that Dyson has moved into which finally explains so much about Bo and Dyson happily getting naked in a boxing ring. While I revel in this epiphany Lauren and Bo plan to catch Vex's attention with Pietra.
I love how happy Lauren seems about this whole adventure. It's like she finds everything the dark fae do hilarious unlike all that moping she did with the light. Who knew switching sides would make her both dress better and enjoy life more?
One human who is not loving the dark right now is Kenzi as she learns that Bruce was traded to a different fae clan as punishment and that hula hoop golfing is not a thing. Fortunately the easy solution for Bruce is to have another fae master him and Tamsin and Kenzi decide the valkyrie is ready for her first pet.
Tamsin takes to the microphone and declares this intent and Evony immediately calls on duelists to determine if this challenge will be successful. Obviously this was going to happen but Rachel Skarsten's facial expressions negate any misgivings about the set up.
Outside Dyson's gym of love Lauren gushes about the dark fae greenhouse's drug supplies (“Socrates natural hallucinogenic!”) while Pietra wanders the street with her scimitar and Bo requests they have The Talk. I'm loving this role reversal where Bo constantly wants to talk about feelings and Lauren is busy with her amazing dress and drugs. Or possibly Lauren still has Crystal chained up somewhere? Having a fae-controlled secret girlfriend is kind of her thing.
Lauren is saved from any explanation by the arrival of a mesmerized woman approaching Pietra, kicking her in the shins and stealing the scimitar. The scavenger fae panics about her wound and Lauren hilariously threatens to cut her tongue out because she is now a badass. Pietra explains that she ships doccubus as Bo heads off with the drug to find Vex.
It turns out to be a pretty simple hunt since the mesmer is just waiting in Dyson's ridiculous gym. A brief scuffle and Bo is stabbed in the neck with her own sedative (why would you ever trust her with a syringe and needle?!) and Vex reveals his right hand's new barnacled look.
Bo regains consciousness but not motor function and finds Vex brewing up an anaesthetic for a self amputation. Bo has less interest in the knife than in gushing about Lauren, filling Vex in about the necklace and their reconciliation. It's pretty adorable but eventually she remembers her purpose for being there and snarks at Vex about he and The Wanderer being in cahoots to make her dark. The mesmer seems basically indifferent to Bo's alignment since he has his own thing going on right now.
Talk of amputation leads Bo on another Lauren monologue, comparing their break with an incomplete excision and ending on a sigh she describes as “the song of my heart.” Vex thankfully stuffs a cloth in her mouth to prevent further gushing and embarks on his own monologue about the fate of his people. Mesmers have been hunted throughout the ages, having their hands cut off and dying slow deaths by being unable to feed. While he laments the imminent loss of one hand he is grateful to retain the other and I consider making him my new favourite character when he refers to the appendages as Ginger and Fred.
Back at the party of bad ideas Bruce's current master readies herself for a duel as Kenzi instructs Tamsin to use her powers of doubt to win. The valkyrie gets to choose the mode of combat and declares “I just want to dance!” leading to one of the more ridiculous events of late: a dance off to the death. Tamsin begins with some epic crazy dancing and is rapidly joined by Kenzi to re-enact a routine they practiced when living together. This scene is made so much better by the knowledge that both actresses have extensive dance experience.
The opposition has some hard core breakdancing skills but fortunately Tamsin eyebrows her way to some valkyrie powers which hit the dark fae with doubt mid flip and she falls to her death on the floor. Because this is a dark fae party, everyone shrugs and returns to their own dancing. Seriously, why doesn't Bo want to throw in with these guys?
Over at the gym of future sepsis, Bo is slowly regaining distal limb function and manages to spit out her gag. Vex sings a manic song as Bo tries to talk him back from the point of chopping by declaring herself, Kenzi and Dyson his family. Vex remains unmoved and slices the offending mold hand away. Bo manages to stand a moment too late and appears surprisingly squeamish for someone with as many weapons as she.
As Vex prepares to leave via shiny convertible, Bo again questions him about how she ended up dark and he reveals he really has no idea. He asks why she didn't just check in with the Morrigan's archivist who has all of those details at his fingertips and Bo realizes just how well she's been played by the dark leader.
Somewhat true to her promise, Bo returns to Evony with the hand part of Vex but the Morrigan is less than thrilled. Bo summons the archivist who thoughtfully removes the top layer of his bald head bearing both Bo's signature and her sponsor Rainer. Bo has no clue who this mystery man is and Evony claims the same. Bo retrieves her mesmer hand which Evony willingly gives up ominously declaring her new toys better anyway as Lauren re-enters.
Bo bitches about the Morrigan to Lauren before learning that the doctor is now totes team dark. They sought her out, tested her to diagnose an elder and offered her protection and freedom to come and go. Bo struggles with this but Lauren is determined not to be owned by anyone else, even her. Also the clothes. Lauren is pleased to have Bo with the dark now so they can see each other around but the succubus has really got a bee in her bonnet about this whole no-means-no thing with regards to choosing a side. She tells Lauren to let her know when she's ready to come home and all of our hearts break just a little.
The Una Mens inquisition of exposition is nearing its conclusion with Trick preparing a blade to fight his way out before the inquisitor (who he dares to call by her former individual name, Arabella) informs him he is their only choice to be the acting Ash.
At the apartment of wigs and kimonos Kenzi gives Bruce an amazing pep talk that seems to have a reassuring effect on Tamsin, who also wants to find her wings and fly. I love Kenzi and Tamsin having adventures together so much you guys.
After a visit to the Dal for a family rehash of sudden changes in status and a drink on mesmer-hand ice, Bo heads home and Trick returns to his vault to find the seed of doom and power stolen! I really want to care about all this fae drama. Really, I do.
Speaking of fae drama, the Una Mens have invited the Morrigan's archivist for a visit with Bo's declaration. These guys seem to have some idea about this Rainer chap as the inquisitor scrolls through a swirly fae book before saying, “no. It cannot be. Never again.” If Rainer turns out to be Lauren's wig I am so with her.
I enjoyed this episode a lot you guys! It was a bit heavy on the fae lore but so well balanced with the fun of a preposterous dark party and did I mention Lauren's attitude and also dress? I hope I was clear on that point. Speaking of clothing of the dark, a special mention is warranted for Tamsin's tween stylings complete with jacket featuring love hearts, rainbows and recycling. The best. I'm basically ready to pledge to the dark at this point and I'm hoping we get to see Bo at least consider it as her close association with the light always made the “unaligned” part of her brand feel a bit phony to me. More dark parties with deathly dancing and doccubus make out sessions please!